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Dear member of human kind,
 
Have you ever been afraid of dreaming? Not of realizing your dreams… That is easy. I mean being afraid of dreaming.
 
I know people who experienced that. Some dreams are so ambitious they become scary. I am not talking about an ambition you could measure with a sum of money, or a huge number of miles to travel. I am talking about an inner ambition. Some dreams have the power to move your very essence, for better or worse. Just thinking of them moves you to places beyond space and time. They resonate with an intimate part of yourself, which is staring at you, which is waiting for you. And this is what is scary.
 
I know people who never experienced this fear. Some of them never met this part of themselves. Some other are simply not afraid of it. Some other don’t need to re-invent themselves permanently to feel alive.
 

And there are people for whom life needs to be epic. I call them “megalomaniacs of life”. They are often being told they think too much, they can’t make things simply. They are like galaxies. A galaxy first needs to be considered as something immense. In its center, there is a big black hole which structures everything. But this center can also absorb everything. The black hole needs to be strong but must never win. To these megalomaniacs, life can thus only be lived as an eternal movement. Anything in this life needs to take part to this dance or is doomed to oblivion.

So what is the nature of this black hole? What could possibly structure a human being in such a way? Well, as every black hole, its composition is not very well defined. Still, there are often dreams or ideals there. Elements which have the power to keep a whole galaxy moving. There are often fears there as well. These can draw attention of a human being. Nothing is more likely to generate a movement than fears. A spiral movement, then. When you are a galaxy, dreams and fears sometimes mix themselves together into the same entity. Many travelers know this, a dream of travel can become a fear there would be too much to see to be able to experience everything. A dream of marriage could become a fear to lose oneself in the other. Considering buying a house means settling down, risking to lose this movement essential to exist. That is how galaxies can be afraid of dreaming. Afraid to be consumed by their dreams.

This is the strange live of megalomaniacs of life, shared between the fix and massive presence of dreams, ideals or fears, and the eternal movement around this stack of powerful, tantalizing emotions.

Dear member of human kind,
If today a black hole seems to seek to consume you, here is a story for you. A story of a woman that might be you.

Megalomaniac of life, she lives in space. She fights for long against this black hole in her center. She is tired. Being always in the middle of two contradictory energies is really exhausting. The strength of freedom against the power of attraction of this center. Back and forth, she flies and falls. She hopes then despairs. She lives then dies. Her soul starts getting old…
 
One day she surrenders.
 
Under the effect of the attraction of the black hole, her universe collapses. Mesmerized by this massive center, the spiral begins. She stares indifferently at this approaching black hole. It looks like a monster awaiting its time. It absorbs everything, leaving only fear around it. A fear it is itself made of. While undergoing the fall, an idea pops up. Times seems to stop. A real break for the mind from a life in eternal move. What if? What if… A somewhat caustic smile appears on her face, and the time resumes. But something has changed.
 
Now she chooses to fall. As she comes closer to the monster, her determination grows. She feels accelerating, tension is rising. She even works together with her own fears, and lets all its life be swallowed while taking more speed. This is the idea: exploit this tremendous energy to go to contact, and break. The monster or herself. Coexisting is no longer possible. She can now feels the impatience of the beast. The stakes are so high that even her body is asking for an end. And as the fall keeps accelerating, the beast opens a huge mouth…

 

Lightining

Screams

Clash

Pain

Tearing

All is quiet here. Time seems to flow slowly. Nothing has substance. It is relaxing. Gravity made it heavy, now everything seems light. It is like space just opened. All of a sudden, the black hole is no longer obvious. Around her, thousands of stars color her universe. It is beautiful.
 
As she contemplates this new sight and listen to this new song, a dizziness seizes her. A doubt finds a way into her. There is too much. Too much to be seen, nothing to settle down. She feels lost in this immensity. Looking around herself, she can see a small landmark. She starts to understand. This landmark… The impact threw here far from the black hole. Far from herself. It appears under a new nature: it was an enemy, it is now an ally. It protects here against being lost in its infinite universe.
 
Something has changed, however. The black hole took some colors. It was unchangeable, now it displays some glints slowly revolving on its surface. It is more beautiful. She is more beautiful. Observing with patience, she can see these colors come from the many starts which make up her skies.
 
It was only fear, it starts giving back colors of the dreams it receives from the stars. The black hole ceased to be black because it started giving. Exchange is now possible.
 
Without mistrust, she lets herself be attracted. The movement, at first slow, cradles her. Step by step, she is gaining speed. Like an aviator, she receives energy from the fall to better start again. Close to the center is the passion: her life is intense and vibrant. Far from it is the escape: her life is peaceful and relaxing. This dance ceased to be macabre and now brings life and hope. What was a balance of power is now a symbiosis.
 
This is the story of a bird free from its cage. All is freedom, all is breath. All is movement.

Images: https://pxhere.com (1 and 4), https://pixabay.com (2 and 3),  et https://apod.nasa.gov (5)